You don't understand ...

I admire people. 

Sometimes they don't understand something, because they don't want to understand it. I would think that a person would be happy to hear that someone cares about them, but they just don't know in what way.

I wish it could be like in the movies, I could touch someones hand, and they could feel the pain in my chest. I use to be so sad, every single day. I use to cry. I use to like being upset for some reason. And even now, when I am sad it feels so good. It feels like all my emotions come pouring out of me. 

Usually when I tell someone something, words aren't just empty words. I really mean something. It's like saying "I love you", when you actually meant "I like you". When I say "I love you" I actually mean it from the bottom of my heart. 

I just hate admitting to myself that there is something called "reality". I hate admitting to myself what I really truly feel about people and other things. 

I just got really upset over this thing right now, and i just needed to write about something. I know I haven't updated this blog for ages, but there it is. My bull shit story ...